“ Technically, I guess, they don’t; it takes some work:
You’ll enter into the line like any other joe sixpack, then explain you’d like to buy some carrot souffle to take home. There will be several iterations of saying, “No, put away the to-go carrier, I want a tray of it. No, put away the pre-packaged container of it. I need an entire tray, actually, two of them. Frozen.”
At this point the buffet line will come to a halt, as all of the…waitresses? baristas? sandwich artists? ice cream scoop operators? will stop serving “some of that” and turn towards you. They’ll realize you want it by the pound. And they’ll judge. Sometimes, the nice old man in the USS ALABAMA mesh trucker hat will also turn. And disapprove. I can only assume that he’s thinking, “this isn’t what I fought for!”
Finally, you’ll ask for the manager, who, like a used car salesman, will flip his tie over his short sleeved dress shirt and produce a large-button, large-display solar calculator from thin air.
After some fervant mashing with the eraser-end of a chewed up pencil, he’ll motion for someone to bring out two frozen logs, and then you’ll pay whatever he whispers to the clerk.
I like to add a handful of Andes mints, too. It’s the one time where there’s a chance they won’t assume you’re going to eat them all yourself, since you’re obviously purchasing for a group. But they’d be wrong!
—
-Chad, in the comments from this post
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice. I think you’ve captured the experience perfectly. I’ll have to try this next year.
P.S. I don’t know which Piccadilly you frequent, but two of the ones in BR have stopped carrying Andes mints (despite the comment cards I’ve filled out and my conversations with their managers).