THIS is f*cking Captain America.
Apr 02
“ That’s not f*cking Captain America.
— Frank’s trollish response to my misidentification of a superhero on the side of an ice cream truck. (He was extremely passionate).
Apr 01
Why do moths exist? If they are just food for something else, why can't that something eat something else?
I am equally grossed out by moths and butterflies, but I feel like butterflies are at least considered beautiful to most people, so I am narrowing this down to moths only. (The caterpillars we get have red eyes and turn into moths. They fall all over my car, and they make nasty cocoons on the ceiling of our back porch. What’s even worse, is that when they hatch, they don’t take their nasty cocoons down, they leave them there for me to get rid of! JERKS!)
When I see someone wearing clothing that is obviously too tight, I immediately think the words “sausage casing.”
That’s funny. Last weekend, I had a similar thought when I saw my thighs coming out of the way-too-tight legholes of a maternity swimsuit. It was a size L. Who are they making these for???
F F F! First caterpillar of the season. I took this right before I murdered it with my windshield wipers, then gagged for 5 minutes.
GPOYW - Monogrammed snuggie magic edition
I’ve wanted a snuggie for a long time. I asked Q for one for Christmas, and when he didn’t get it, I was extremely confused. It’s not like they’re expensive…I figured he must have some moral objection to snuggies, because whenever I brought it up, he avoided the subject. Come to find out, my little brother (Baby Alex) had ordered me one, but it hadn’t come in yet. Before I knew this, every time I’d be on the couch either with the remote or my laptop, and had to take my hands out of the blanket, I would make a big show about it to Q (my attempt at guilt-tripping).
Well, 3 weeks ago, the snuggies Alex ordered came in! (He accidentally ordered 4- haha). Anyway, he gave me all 4. Two were the color shown above, and two were burgundy. I am not a fan of burgundy, so I gave one to Glenn, and brought the other burgundy home in case we ever had a guest that needed it. My step-mom and I thought it would be hilarious to get the green ones monogrammed for Court and I, and that we could give Court hers at her birthday party. Anyway, we did, and she loved it! Turns out, she’d also asked for a Snuggie for Christmas and didn’t get it, and regularly gives her husband the same kinds of guilt trips I gave Q.
I told you all that to tell you this: the picture above was taken for her husband (who was not in town for the party) so he could see how useful snuggies are. That’s it!
Have a fun Wednesday!!!
Mar 31
This actually happened (could also be titled, "Mills is a Jerk").
email from me to merchant:
Hi Susan! I’ve been receiving several orders for lighting catalogs (skus were listed here) which we are no longer stocking/supplying to the stores. I just wanted to let someone know.
response from the merchant:
If you let me know who you are receiving the orders from, I will handle. We have a process in place for ordering the lighting catalogs.
my response to the merchant:
Thanks Susan! The orders are coming over via EDI (typically, stock orders come from headquarters, but I am not sure who exactly submits them).
(Mills’ phone rings)
Mills: Sydney, why is Susan R calling me?
Me: Because I just sent her an email, then she responded…I will forward it to you.
Mills: Ok, cool. Hello, Hi Susan!
Mills has no idea what she’s talking about, until my email arrives. He uses it to pretend he knows what she’s talking about.
Continues conversation which I tune out, until he IMs me and says:
Mills: She thinks (1) you’re a man and (2) it’s HEEBURT. I LOVE THIS
Me: hahahaha
Me: you just said HIM!
Me: jackass
Me: Just correct her!
Mills: I know!
(Susan basically asks Mills to find out the info she just told me she’d find out. I hear Mills in the background telling her that he’ll get with me on it and see if we can get the answer)
Me: I have no idea how to find that out
Me: I have tried. No one knows.
(Mills continues his little charade, loving every minute)
Me: YOU ARE A JERK!
Mills: 804-122 (sending me skus I already have because I SENT THEM TO SUSAN)!
Mills: 184-367
Mills: Those are the skus
Me: Thanks, didn’t know that…
(Mills hangs up and we both laugh a lot, then I tell him he’s a jerk and wonder what the point of emailing Susan was, if I am the one that is going to have to find out anyway (and I’ve already tried).
email from Susan to me:
Sydney, I just talked to Mills. He is going to get that data for me. Thanks for letting us know about these orders.
Mar 30
“If you need any little furry balls, I’ve got plenty.”
-Sydvish (as I was putting my suitcase in her trunk)
*That’s what he said*
hahahahahaha. I forgot about that.
As embarrassing as it is, this is my trunk. The glitter and furry balls are from a halloween craft project I did with my cousins’ kids. They all fell out of the bag and I’ve yet to do anything about it.
Pictures from Coat’s bachelorette are here. This isn’t the best picture of Courtney (because the guy with the camera wasn’t sure how to use one, so her smile was replaced by a look of expectation) but I thought it was the most fun group shot. Anyway, we had a really good time (even if we are nerds).
Mar 29
I did it!
I survived 2 nights on Bourbon as a pregnant lady. My back hurts, and I am very tired of second-hand smoke, but other than that, I’m fine!
Mar 28
Last night...
I dreamt I found a box of all red Froot Loops (heaven), and then lost them.
(no, Froot Loops do not all taste the same; they ruined everything when they added blue and purple).
Mar 27
OMG!!!! CEB, if you're reading this, MAKE IT STOP!
How is it necessary to “test” the fire alarm for over 10 minutes? It isn’t, unless you’re trying to piss off everyone in the building! Next time, we need to evacuate.
Everyone who doesn’t work where I work: imagine the most annoying alarm clock alarm (sounds like a horn), turned up to 11, going off for 10 minutes (at least). You can’t turn it off. You’ll never snooze again!
