beautifulordinaire:

gauntlet:

Ah, Mr and Mrs: how homely, how familiar, how quaint. You see, I will never become a Mrs, and I will never take my husband’s name. If pushed, I choose Ms, but otherwise I will always be me. First name. Surname. It startles me that so many women of my generation never question this bizarre ritual. As soon as a woman signs the marriage register she assumes a new identity. It may be merely symbolic, but it’s that symbolism that most jars with today’s notions of equality.

I don’t agree with this at all.  It’s entirely up to you whether or not you remain an individual, and names have nothing to do with it.  Choosing to take or not to take your husband’s name is a personal preference, and nothing more.

I also really liked melanyouth’s comment on the subject:

I have a rather contrary opinion, developed when everyone expected me to go back to my maiden name after my divorce. I refused, on the grounds that there was no way in hell I was going back to my father’s name just because I no longer had a husband.

The fact is that naming in our culture is patrilineal, and that an unmarried woman’s surname identifies her as the posession of her father. And in this modern age, ritualistically taking your husband’s name means as little or as much as you want it to. Disparaging women who choose to change their name upon getting married is one of those things that seems like an easy call, but really isn’t.

.