This actually happened (could also be titled, "Mills is a Jerk").

email from me to merchant:

Hi Susan!  I’ve been receiving several orders for lighting catalogs (skus were listed here) which we are no longer stocking/supplying to the stores.  I just wanted to let someone know.

response from the merchant:

If you let me know who you are receiving the orders from, I will handle.  We have a process in place for ordering the lighting catalogs.

my response to the merchant:

Thanks Susan!  The orders are coming over via EDI (typically, stock orders come from headquarters, but I am not sure who exactly submits them).

(Mills’ phone rings)

Mills:  Sydney, why is Susan R calling me?

Me:  Because I just sent her an email, then she responded…I will forward it to you.

Mills:  Ok, cool.  Hello, Hi Susan!  

Mills has no idea what she’s talking about, until my email arrives.  He uses it to pretend he knows what she’s talking about.

Continues conversation which I tune out, until he IMs me and says:

Mills: She thinks (1) you’re a man and (2) it’s HEEBURT.  I LOVE THIS

Me:  hahahaha

Me:  you just said HIM!

Me: jackass

Me: Just correct her!

Mills:  I know!

(Susan basically asks Mills to find out the info she just told me she’d find out.  I hear Mills in the background telling her that he’ll get with me on it and see if we can get the answer)

Me:  I have no idea how to find that out

Me:  I have tried.  No one knows.

(Mills continues his little charade, loving every minute)

Me: YOU ARE A JERK!

Mills:  804-122 (sending me skus I already have because I SENT THEM TO SUSAN)!

Mills:  184-367

Mills: Those are the skus

Me:  Thanks, didn’t know that…

(Mills hangs up and we both laugh a lot, then I tell him he’s a jerk and wonder what the point of emailing Susan was, if I am the one that is going to have to find out anyway (and I’ve already tried).

email from Susan to me:

Sydney, I just talked to Mills.  He is going to get that data for me.  Thanks for letting us know about these orders.